Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Bashing Kostitsyn

A Quick Guide

When things don't go well (which apparently this year means losing two games in a row) someone must be held to account. By someone, it is usually safe to assume that we mean Andrei Kostitsyn.

If you haven't been watching your games on RDS, you may not have realized that Kostitsyn was the root of all evil. But rest assured he is. As a service to readers, i thought a quick guide on how to bash him properly might help.

Some basic rules

1. Use the gamelog. Games without points are bad games. No need to check any other source.

2. Don't forget to maximize scoring drought. If the latest pointless streak is preceded by a short streak with a few points and another pointless streak, it may be better to add more 0 point games in. Do both and see which looks better (i.e., worse)

For example, right now you have these choices:

a) Only 20 points in 30 games (53 point pace)
b) Only 9 goals in 30 games (25 goal pace)
c) Only a sinle point last game
d) Only 1 point in 3 games
e) Only 2 points in 6 games
f) No goals in 6 games
g) Only 2 G, 6 Pts in last 12 games
h) Only 3 G in last 21 games (the right choice)

3. Use aspirational pace. Using real pace for goals and points can cloud the issue (like Kostitsyn might actually be having a career best year), using aspirational goals (like 50 goalscorer) assures the best point is made

4. Compare him to players in the 2003 draft. Remember not to slip up and use the players you actually said Montreal should draft at the time like Steve Bernier

5. It's important only to mention teammates that make him look bad. Plekanec is a good bet. For others look at the scoring for the year

When and how to bash
Just scored hat-trick goal"It's about time"
During goal celebration (single)"That's what he can do when he's not just floating around"
After a single point game (assist)"Plekanec and Cammalleri were outstanding on that goal"
One shift drought"Truly an enigma"
One game drought"Clearly the start of a new slump"
Three game drought"No points in three games, and counting"
Five game drought"I'm not sure he'll ever score again"
Eight game drought"Even Steve Bernier would have been a better pick up in the 2003 draft"
21 games, 3 G, 10 Pts"He played with Plekanec, he played with other players, he went back with Plekanec. Players need to look at their own performance. He was effective when he was involved and he gave us some good hockey occasionally (important to stress this word), but right now we need more than that."

Coming into the year, practically nobody expected Andrei Kostitsyn to ever score again. The inconvenient little streak, during which he was the best player on the team shouldn't allow us to forget those feelings and pointed summertime analyses.

Tune in tonight for a good second lesson. instructor, as always will be Benoit Brunet.

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